This past year has given me a lot to think about with regards to my life, my work, and my future.
Let me start by saying that I love my job. Coming out of college with a degree in English and a passion for writing, I certainly didn’t foresee landing a job in the boat business, of all things. My plan was to apply for some administrative, office-type jobs just to get keep a roof over my head, and I’d figure out something more permanent after. I was attracted to this marine position because of all the people I’d dealt with during the interview process. They were so kind, welcoming, laid back- the work environment seemed ideal. And I was right- I’m shocked at how much I enjoy the job considering I had no knowledge or interest in boats or boating. My coworkers and the management are amazing, the work is rewarding and interesting, and you can’t beat the view. It pays pretty well and doesn’t stress me out- it doesn’t mentally fatigue me to the point that I don’t have enough energy to work on my passion projects, which is awesome.
I’ve been here for over five years now, and I still love my job, but I’m also reaching a tipping point. I’ve pretty nearly hit the wage ceiling for my position, so unless they can splice some more significant roles into my job, I probably can’t make much more without switching out to a different department. My boss is very supportive; he’d help me join any department I want, but I honestly don’t have a lot of interest in the available opportunities right now. I’d love to stay in sales- I’m so happy here! My boss has been encouraging me to move up from sales support to an actual selling position and…I just don’t know. I enjoy being a support player- the idea of selling on my own is really intimidating. The base pay would be comparable but the rest is commission-based and we’re in an inventory-lean period right now that doesn’t show signs of changing soon. So I told him I would consider it.
And I’ve been considering it.
I know I shouldn’t stay stagnant in the same position if there’s no opportunity for a wage increase…but I’m just so hesitant to mess up a good thing! How many people can honestly say that they love their job- that they wake up in the morning and (still hit the snooze- I’m still human) are happy to be heading into the office? I’m worried about losing that. And more importantly, I’m worried about losing the ability to continue pursuing my real passions. I still dream of becoming a published author above all else and if I’m committing all my focus to being a successful saleswoman… I’m afraid I’m forfeiting that dream. I’m in a ‘have your cake and eat it too’ scenario with a job I truly enjoy that also allows me to pursue higher ambitions. But I also worry it won’t continue to pay the bills. I’m still little better than paycheck-to-paycheck and approaching thirty. I worry this isn’t sustainable. Or could it be, if I budgeted better? I don’t know. That depends on so many unknowns.
What I do know is this: for the time being, the bills are getting paid and I’m keeping my head above water. I’ve got credit card debt but who doesn’t? And it’s not like, crazy out of control amounts of debt. I’ve got the student loans too but they’re just out there existing and would be in any and all scenarios.
Here’s what I’m leaning towards. I still plan on selling at the boat show this January- much of the company’s support staff helps sell at the big show so it’s a great way to get my feet wet. Beyond that, I want to wait to make any decision regarding joining the sales force till next summer at the earliest. Until then, I want to concentrate on giving publishing a proper shot. I’m still on schedule to have the book done before year’s end. Then I can start the publishing process in earnest.
I just feel like I owe it to myself to try this before I commit to a different path. I have a window- my boss is in no rush to move me. If he wasn’t genuinely concerned about me ‘fulfilling my potential,’ he’d keep me here forever, as I’m most helpful to him directly in my current role. So I have no pressure to move beyond what originates from my own life.
So I guess that’s the plan. Subject to change, warp, evolve, or entirely dissolve at any given moment. Wish me luck? Or maybe just the sense to see the proper path in time? As always, I wish the same for you!