I’m equal parts excited about some of the progress I’ve made and frustrated that I haven’t made more. I’m not where I hoped I would be at this point, both in my writing and my other creative endeavors. And I have to acknowledge that a big part of that is due to a major interruption in my life- I got knocked off the rails by a huge personal loss that I don’t feel comfortable addressing quite yet in this format. That aside, I still need to be better at staying on task and keeping myself motivated.
As far as my writing goes, I’m unexpectedly having a lot of trouble with beta readers. I’ve sent my WIP to about six friends and only two have gotten back to me. Though I’ve gotten positive feedback from the two that did read it, I’m feeling down about the others… I kind of wish they’d just turned me down rather than let me send them something this personal and not hear anything back. I know they’re really busy and I’m asking for a lot of their time- that’s why whenever I do ask, I try to make it abundantly clear that I totally understand if they don’t have time for this right now. But to hear nothing makes me worry that my writing is so crappy it doesn’t even warrant a critique. I’m sure this is just my anxiety talking and they probably just got busy and forgot but it still stings. And I don’t have a remedy for that.
On a more positive note, I got my sewing machine going and made my first little project. It’s a dice bag! I want to make more. I’m flirting with the idea of making a bunch of little projects like this and opening up an Etsy store? I wouldn’t be selling them for much but it would be a fun way to make a little pocket money and get some practice with the machine. Haven’t decided if it’s worth doing yet but we’ll see.
I’m also a little behind on my cosplay progress but now I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to go to some of the cons I had planned. Money has become an issue (well, a bigger issue) as of late. I was already a little overextended in buying the supplies I need for these costumes and then my personal issues created additional expenses that I wasn’t super prepared for. But we’ll see. I’m trying not to be down about it- I might still come up with the money and, it not, there’s always next year. Kind of a bummer though. Why does everything cost money and why do I never have any?! (story of everyone’s life, I’m sure)
Ending on a positive- I just finished listening to The Adventure Zone: Balance and I don’t even have the words to express how infatuated and impressed I am. TAZ has been the following light for me during this period of extreme darkness and I am so grateful to the McElroys for gifting it to the world. I’m not even being dramatic- it’s that good. I’m fully planning on cosplaying Taako this year since I know I’ll at least make it to the Ren Faire. I’ll post some pictures once I’ve made more progress on it.
Anyway…things will turn around soon, I’m sure. The worst is behind me now.